Gadgetry Report

Today is Inane Answering Machine Day—what better excuse is there to be as idiotic as humanly possible on your (or someone else’s) voicemail? And do I need an excuse; I’m one of those people who is constantly stammering, “Ummm”-ing, or otherwise making an idiot of myself on my voicemail messages. I’ve taken to simply not leaving a message, much to the irritation of many; but today is a day for people like me to celebrate and leave the most horrible messages possible.

Need some ideas to kick off your weekend of vague voicemail or mumbled machine madness? Here are some ways you might want to celebrate:

Channel Your Favorite Idiot. Whether it’s your school guidance counselor (“Mmmkay, Mr. Mackey.”), a favorite (or least favorite?) actor, or simply Elmer Fudd, leave your message in his or her voice. Read more

All the coffee nerds are salivating over the latest advance in espresso generating technology, THE SLAYER.  I'm sorry, I can't help putting it in all caps.  The machine is called SLAYER.  Grar!

At a mere $18,000 The Slayer is not the machine for everyone.  In fact, less than 20 of these hand built machines are in use in coffee shops today.  What would lead a coffee shop to pay nine or ten times as much for an espresso machine, compared to typical commercial espresso machines?  Aside from being absolutely beautiful, The Slayer allows for a degree of customization unheard of in today's espresso marketplace.
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Obama Figurine

It seems like there was a new round of 'weird Japanese products' making its way to my inbox this past week. By inboxes I meant in email form from a good friend with a bit too much time to spare and not the product itself. But then, I must admit that the dissection keychain would be worth owning.

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Apple Takes a Green StandI love Apple. I write these blog entries on my Apple, I go take free classes about how to use my machine even better at the Apple store, and I proudly raise my hand as one of those people who thinks Apples are just better than PC’s and can’t understand why anyone would be using a PC- I mean, you do what you want, it’s not a judgment of anyone as a person- but for me, Apple is the only way to go. And I love the statement they are making, joining with other Utility companies in walking away from the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. I feel like it’s similar to some EU nation walking away from the UN or something.

Apple sent a letter of resignation to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce CEO Thomas Donahue. Here is some of the text, quoted from the Reuters story: Read more

Robots are officially ready to invade your home and make the future- today! Robots of every kind, but mostly for play- are available at Hammacher and Schlemmer. Full size movie robot exact replicas to small toy sized robots are part of the wide selection available for you to choose from.

Robots for sale! My favorite is The Animated Emotive Robotic Companion who expresses himself through his animated face, which is a full-color LCD screen. He has 64 MB of memory and multiple personality traits. His hands are able to hold small objects and he is able rotate 360 degrees on his all-wheel base as well as detect if anything is in his way by recognizing obstacles. Be sure to watch the video!

The Animated Emotive Robotic Companion Read more

You know what the coolest thing invented was? Tim Berners Lee is gonna explain it to ya...

Green power is getting even more literal thanks to University of Washington findings on tree power.  Electrical Engineers Babak Parviz, Brian Otis, and undergraduate Carlton Himes will be reading their own story in an upcoming edition of The Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineer's Transaction on Nanotechnology for their success in powering an electrical circuit, entirely from a tree.

A continuation of last year's study on the electrical output of plants done by the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), the UW engineers decided to measure the electrical output of trees as a possible source of green energy. Undergraduate Carlton Himes spent his summer under the beautiful emerald canopies of the Pacific Northwest forests, sticking nails and electrodes into tree trunks to measure their electrical output, discovering outputs of several hundred millivolts with regular consistency.
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Inversion tables bring Batman to mind, right away. It's almost an immediate response to seeing a photo of someone hanging upsidedown by his ankles in the middle of a room. I had an experience with an inversion table once. It was at a neighbor's house, a neighbor I was dating who also happened to be an underwear model and who's roommate had an inversion table. It stood in their all-wood, all-Zen living room with gigantic glass picture windows five or so stories high in downtown Seattle. Being 6' tall and living with a high sense of gravity, a few car wrecks under my belt; I have my share of kinky back days. The inversion table was of particular interest to me, as I recalled a recent therapy I endured in Germany for an entire year after landing on my head mid-back fip in kung fu class. Fistfuls of painkillers, muscle relaxers and once a month- a large leather belt strapped under my chin by which, I would hang from my head on a wooden board, tilted at a 45 degree angle. Read more

Generally, I post items to Gadgetry Report either because they are so terribly geeky that they have to be witnessed, or because the device is more than a little daft, and I'm posting with mockery in mind; this time, while the marketing language is over-the-top and very much snicker inducing, the device itself actually has merit. ChefStack is an automatic conveyer-belt equipped pancake making machine. It can, so the Web site says, produce up to 200 97% fat-free freshly made pancakes an hour. It's not even a little bit stupid.

I know. Sometimes I surprise even myself. Read more