Check out the remote control on this baby! This vibrator can be operated from 20 feet away, presumably by a ready, willing, and able partner, but maybe by you if you are like Gumby and have arms that go forever. I don't know, however, if it can be used between rooms or not.

This handy little gizmo to my left is quite possibly the greatest IPod adaptation EVER. If you want your orgasms to rock [3], and i do mean rock, try hooking this up to your I-Pod and it  will move in tune to your music. Seriously, with something like this in your house, do you really need a man around?

When the going gets tough, the tough get going, and I guess any user of the fricking Lego Dildo must either be extremely tough or even out of their minds. Any possiblities of a female orgasm from this thing quite literally blow my mind. I guess it probably wasn't intended for actual use, but according to all of those sites I've read about what nurses find up people's nether-regions, I'm sure that someone has placed this somewhere where it most assuredly does not belong. 

This little beaut totally reminds me of the "Sex in the City [4]" when Samantha goes to the Sharper Image to return her power massager to the store. The employee tries to tell her it is not a vibrator, but everyone knows differently. The Colt, however, looks more like a lethal weapon than something to tempt you into ecstacy [5]. Don't the Bobbies in London carry night sticks similar to this thing? I, for one, can honestly say that I had a Mag-Light named "Big Daddy" of about the same size and shape, and never, ever used it for sexual purposes.

If you get lonely when your partner is far away, why don't you give the Talking Head Vibrator a try? (No word on whether this is officially sanctioned by the Talking Heads) You can pre-record a voice, a sexy noise, or your own self in the morning when you first wake up. (why you would want to do that remains to be seen.)